Russian Roulette
by OLHrocksursocks
Summary: And you can see my heart beating, you can see it through my chest, that I'm terrified but I'm not leaving, know that I must pass this test, so just pull the trigger.


Russian Roulette- Campbell Saunders One Shot.

* * *

"So do you want to hang out with me and Tori and Tris tonight? We're all going to hang out over at my place and study for that French exam." Maya asked me at my locker after school. I really did need to study but… I already told the hockey guys I was going to that dumb party. Maybe it wasn't too late to get out of it.

Before I could open my mouth a voice behind us answered for me. "Hey rookie, you better be at that party tonight or there will be serious consequences." I turned around to see Dallas and Owen walking by, smirking at me.

I didn't say anything; instead I just rolled my eyes and turned back to Maya. Her smile had flipped to a frown.

"Looks you have other plans," She said, forcing a smile. "What kind of party is it?"

"It's just a small gathering at Dallas' host parent's house. They're probably just going to watch a couple hockey games and talk about strategy or something." I answered.

"Oh."

"Maya, I can get out of it. I don't even really want to go. I…"

She cut me off. "No Cam, you should go. I mean they're your team, you should spend time with them."

"But…"

"Nope, Campbell Saunders you are going to that party tonight." She smirked at me, and then pulled me close to her. "And then afterwards you can sneak over to my house, and we can… practice our French." She winked at me.

I laughed and kissed her lightly. As always, she was the one who deepened it.

"Hey Maya!" Tori's voice interrupted.

Maya and I broke apart and I put one arm around her.

"Oh sorry," Tori squealed, looking at Tristan who was standing beside her smiling. "Are we interrupting something?"He asked, raising his eyebrows at Maya.

"No," Maya answered "We were just talking."

"That's sure not what it looked like!" Tori giggled.

"Tori don't be rude! Leave them alone. We'll be waiting for you outside Maya." Tristan grabbed Tori's arm and they skipped off.

"I better get going, Katie's driving us home. I'll see you tonight?"

I nodded and kissed her cheek. And then she ran off after the other two. I watched her go and thought how lucky I was. Maya Matlin was the best girlfriend ever!

* * *

"Hey rookie, you're actually here! Not going to lie, I didn't think you were going to show." Dallas said when he met me at the door of the Torres house. "And early too" He led me into the basement. Half of the hockey team and Drew were already there drinking beers. They didn't even argue with me when I declined their offer to have a drink.

Little did I know this was not the party; heck, this wasn't even the location.

"Alright you guys ready to go?" Dallas asked the room, grabbing his keys.

Everyone else got up but I stayed put confused. "Go where?" I asked.

Everyone laughed at me at once and Dallas shook his head. They had this special way, the team, of making me feeling so small and insignificant.

"To the party Saunders, god try to keep up." Dallas answered me in his condescending tone.

I clenched my jaw trying to keep tears out of my eyes. God, I was such a girl sometimes.

Feeling too embarrassed and not wanting to make it worse, I just followed them to the car and sat in the back seat without a question.

* * *

_**Maya:**_

"Can we just take a break already? I don't think my brain can take anymore of this." Tori whined closing her French book and tossing it aside.

"Agreed, I need brain food." Tristan nodded.

"Come on guys, we've only been studying for like 10 minutes and this exam is half our grade." I told them.

Tristan and Tori looked at each other and then back at me. "I think I'm prepared." Tori said finally.

"Ditto" Tristan agreed.

"Well I'm not!" I cried, looking back down at my book.

"Well maybe if you actually paid attention in class instead of staring at a certain Campbell Saunders you would be…" Tristan said shaking his head at me. "Speaking of which, why isn't he here? I thought you said he didn't have hockey practice tonight."

"Oh uh yeah, he doesn't." I wanted to change the subject because honestly I did miss Cam, but I didn't want to sound like an overly clingy girlfriend. He needed time with his team and I needed time with just my friends. "How about that food? We haven't' been to the market in a while so the cupboards are kind of bare…"

"Oh no Maya Matlin, you aren't getting off that easy. If he doesn't have hockey then where is he?" Tori persisted.

"He went to some party with the hockey team. No big deal, I told him to go."

Tristan's mouth dropped "Wait, you let him go to a hockey party? Do you have any idea what happens at those things?" I shook my head. "Well I do. My brother goes to them all the time. They all go up to the college and get high and drunk and the sluttiest girls go and sleep with whoever they can. It's a mess."

"Yeah, but I trust Cam and he wouldn't do any of those things. Plus he said it was at the Torres house and he's only going for like an hour and then he's going to come over here." I didn't know why Tristan was making this such a big deal. Cam was just at a small get together with his fellow hockey players, he was fine. He would leave if things got out of control.

"You'd be surprised what people would do to fit in. Peer pressure is a powerful thing." Tristan informed me.

"It's not that kind of party Tris. They're just hanging out and watching some hockey." I rolled my eyes.

"Okay fine, whatever floats your boat but I'm telling you every hockey team party is that kind of party."  
Then he and Tori got up and headed for the kitchen. I tried to turn my eyes back to my French book but I couldn't concentrate. What if it was that kind of party? What would Cam do to gain the hockey's team approval? How far would he go to fit in?

* * *

_**Campbell:**_

The first thing I noticed when we walked into the small house was the smell. The god awful smell that I had never experienced before. It was a mix of alcohol and smoke. Everyone else stepped right in and high-fived guys I didn't know, and then spread out among the crowd, leaving me with Dallas.

"Stick with me rookie." He called to me. I could barely hear him over the blaring music. He led me to the kitchen where a big keg sat. He filled up a red paper cup and handed to me. I shook my head at him and tried to hand it back.

"Come on, just one. Don't be such a girl Saunders, have some fun." He told me and then he started filling himself a cup.

I looked down at the cup of beer in my hand. I mean it could've been worse; it could've been vodka or whatever.

I mean what could one drink hurt anyway right? So I took a long sip. Dallas smiled at me and led me to the living room.  
That's where I found the source of the smoke. Everyone was laughing and smoking pot, either that or making out. Empty cups were scattered across the floor.

Suddenly I was scared for a minute. What if Dallas started smoking? What would I do? I didn't want to get high or anything but I didn't want to seem like a nark. And I definitely didn't want the team to have another thing to pick on me about.

Dallas looked at me and as though he could read my thoughts he laughed and said "Don't worry rookie, I don't do that. Not my style. Come on the guys usually hang out back here."

We walked down a hall, leaving the loud music behind us. He turned and opened the last door at the end of the hall.  
Inside Owen, the twins, and a couple other guys were sitting in a circle, in the middle of all of them was a pile of money. Were they gambling?

"Hey guys, we interrupting?" Dallas called shutting the door behind him.

"Nah man we just started, it's not too late to make a bet." Owen gave the others a wave to make room for us. Dallas ushered me over and we sat down in the circle.

Dallas pulled a 50 out of his wallet and threw it into the pile. "50 bucks that it's not me." Everyone looked to me. "How about you rookie?"

I looked down at the pile of money and then to Dallas. I didn't have fifty dollars, I had like ten… in ones. And what were we even betting on? I took out everything I had and threw it on the pile.

"And who are you betting on?" Owen asked.

"Uh… myself I guess." I mumbled.

They all burst out laughing.

"Rookie, you sure about that? Either way you lose." Dallas said still chuckling.

I didn't understand.

"Let him bet on himself if he wants Dallas." Owen told him.

"No, come on this is his first game. He doesn't have any clue what the rules are." Dallas argued for me. It was nice to have him stand up for me, even if I had no idea what it was for.

"Nope, he's made his bet. Time to start." Owen said turning around to grab something.

"Sorry about that kid, I'll make sure you get your 10 back alright?" Dallas whispered to me.

"What are we bidding on?" I whispered back.

Then I turned just in time to see Owen turn around with something in his hand.

"A gun?!" I looked at Dallas "What the hell?!"

"Well we kind of need it…" Dallas shook his head at me irritated that I still hadn't gotten it. "We're playing Russian Roulette."

* * *

_**Maya:**_

_Initiation for the little rookie. This outta be fun… #PlayHardOrDie_

Tristan was dangling his phone in front of my face. It was on Owen's twitter page.

"Still think it isn't that kind of party?" he asked me.

"Initiation, what is that supposed to mean?" I laughed blandly. "They're probably just joking around."  
"Well… there's only one way to find out… He's an idiot he has his location on here."

"No way! No way Tris! I couldn't embarrass Cam like that!" I demanded. Going to find him at the party would make me look like the clingiest girlfriend in the world.

Tristan started to speak again but was cut off by my phone ringing. It was a text from Cam.

_Sorry I won't be able to make it over tonight. See you tomorrow._

I tried to call him but he wouldn't pick up.

Then Tristan handed me Tori's phone "Okay Maya I don't care what you say, we are going to that party."

On it was another twitter page. The twitter page of Mike Dallas and his last tweet was from only 3 minutes ago. It was two simple words that sent a shock through my bones.

_**#RussianRoulette **_

I wanted to argue but how could I? I was worried about Cam. That text he sent me was distant and the tweets from his team mates were… concerning to say the least. I just had to make sure Cam was okay.

"Fine, let's go." I sighed.

"How are we going to get there?" Tori asked the question on all of our minds. But I had already come to the answer.

"I have enough money for a taxi. My parents are out of town and Katie's upstairs. We'll call for a taxi to meet us a block down. Come on let's hurry!" I grabbed my coat and was out the door.

* * *

**_Campbell:_**

The gun spun in the middle of the circle and I felt as though everything was in slow motion. As it started to slow, my heart started to pound. I needed to leave; I needed to get out of here now. This wasn't right. But if I did leave, what would the team think of me?  
They'd call me a gay or a wimp or something. I couldn't take anymore ridicule from the only family I had right now.

I felt nauseous as the gun slowed to a stop. I thought it had landed on me. Vomit crept up my throat. But everyone else was looking at Dallas. He picked the gun up looking as confident as ever and put it against his head.

His finger was about to pull back the trigger when the words escaped my mouth "Dallas, don't." It was stupid, I know. Like I could tell Mike Dallas what to do.

Everyone laughed at me again; I wished more than anything they would stop doing that.

"Calm down rookie, its fine. I've done this before." He told me and then pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened; I let out a sigh of relief.

But after the relief faded it was replaced by something different. How many times had Dallas played this gruesome game?

Two more times this happened. I watched as the other guys spun the chamber of the gun and looked completely unafraid that they were risking their life for something so stupid.

If it was so stupid, then why was I still here?

That was the question I was pondering when the gun landed on me.

I could feel everyone's eyes resting on me and for a minute I felt like I was in a dream. This wasn't real, this wasn't happening. In a few minutes my alarm clock would go off and I would get up and go to school.

Then the panic set in, I felt like my lungs were being crushed inside my chest, the room was spinning, and tears threatened in my eyes.

_**No time to think, my turn to go…**_

"Come on Saunders we don't have all night!" Owen yelled at me, making me jump.

I reached out a shaky hand and picked up the revolver. I held it there for a minute in my hand before spinning the chamber myself. I had never used a revolver before. When I was still living with my parents my dad took me hunting a couple times. But that was a rifle, this was way different. This was my death in my hands.

I tried to laugh off my anxiety, it was just a game. They were probably only doing this to scare me. But I couldn't help it, I was having an attack.

I couldn't breathe, I kept gasping for air but nothing came. A hand touched my shoulder and I cursed out loud at the touch. Then I turned to see it was Dallas.

"It's alright, rookie calm down. It's just a game. Just close your eyes and count to three. The faster you get it over with the better." He told me, locking his eyes with mine. "You'll be alright, I promise."

_**Say a prayer to yourself  
He says 'close your eyes, sometimes it helps'  
And then I get a scary thought  
That he's here, means he's never lost**_

"Aw how cute. Now if your little love fest is over can we get back to the game?" Owen slurred, it wasn't until then that I realized how drunk he was.

I placed the barrel against my temple. My head was throbbing, my heart was pounding, and my finger was just about to pull the trigger.

But I was stopped by a familiar voice outside the room.

"Cam!" She yelled "Cam!"

Maya, sweet Maya. I wondered if she was trying to wake me up from this terrible nightmare.

The door swung open and she ran in only to find me with a gun placed to my head.

"CAM NO!" She screamed, she tried to run to me but Owen got up and held her back.

"Don't be such a pussy Saunders. Pull the trigger already." He yelled at me. He was holding on to Maya way too tight.

"Let go of her." I demanded.

"Not until you pull that trigger. You bet, so you have to play. Now pull the trigger."

"Go ahead rookie, it'll be alright. Then you can leave." Dallas told me.

I looked to Dallas and then to Maya and then back to Dallas.

My finger found its way back to the trigger.

"No! Cam please you're making a huge mistake! Come with me! Forget about this, it's stupid! Why are you making him do this?! Aren't you supposed to be his friends?" Tears streamed down her pretty face as she yelled and for a minute I considered it.

I considered just putting the gun down and leaving, taking my money with me. But I couldn't, not this time. This was something I had to do.

**Know that I must pass this test.  
**Maya was screaming, Owen was cursing, Dallas was telling me everything was fine, and the music was still blaring on outside as the drunk pot heads stumbled around without a care in the world.

I took one last long sip of my beer and took a deep breath. This was it. This was the moment of truth.

_**So just pull the trigger…**_

* * *

_**Maya:**_

Owen was too strong; his hold on me was too tight. It was cutting off the circulation in my right arm. I needed to get to Cam before… before.

That's when I heard it, the gun shot. Blood splattered against the wall and on Dallas who was staring horrified as Cam's dead body slumped against him. Owen released me and ran to him.

No… no… this wasn't happening. Cam… Campbell Saunders was not dead. This was a nightmare, a cruel nightmare.

"What the hell Owen?! The gun wasn't really supposed to be loaded!" Dallas yelled. "We were just supposed to be scaring him!"

"I… I didn't think it was loaded! I swear I didn't! It shouldn't have been!"

"Look what you did!" I screamed. "Oh god… Cam! Cam! Someone call an ambulance!" No one moved, why was no one moving?

I couldn't breathe, and everything in the room got really distorted as my eyes settled on the body on the floor.

I could barely hear the sound of sirens off in the distance as everything went black.

* * *

Two months later I stood in a graveyard. My eyes fixated on a little tombstone, the tombstone of my first boyfriend, the tombstone of my first love. And I had been too late to save him.

If only I hadn't told him to go to that party, if only I would've gotten there sooner, if only, if only, if only.

These questions plagued my mind but they didn't change anything. Campbell Saunders was dead. And in my deep dark despair I felt nothing.

I fell to my knees and looked up at the sky.

"I'll see you soon." I whispered. Then I moved the revolver up to my own temple.

I felt so many emotions at once in that moment. I knew throwing my life away was wrong but a life without Cam was no life at all. We were born to love each other. And I was going to be with him no matter what it took. I had made my decision.

_**So just pull the trigger…**_


End file.
